"Coriolis Affect"

Do you urinate frequently? Do you delight in doing so? 

I do! Even more so since I discovered that aiming my urine-stream at the sides of the toilet bowl would inspire a "lazy-river"-esque current in the toilet water.

I tried to demonstrate that whirlpool technique here.

Conveniently, doing so also drew attention to otherwise-forgotten features of a good piss (the urine bubbles crackling, the gulping flush, and the resonant, reverberating, post-flush plumbing noises (all sonically fascinating!)).

• • •

For this Mind-Morsel, I faced a handful of curious logistical/artistic challenges.

First, how should I position the camera? I opted for a "head-on" framing, because I find toilets beautiful, and I liked juxtaposing the toilet's symmetry with my off-center pissing. However, this made for a (somewhat embarrassing,) unwieldy, clumsy piss. 

Second, how can I ensure a strong, "show-time" urine-stream? Inspired by this Borat video, I drank a lot of water and hoped for the best (flow). When I reached the "leaking point" (the "point of no retain"), I almost met disaster scrambling to wrestle my stream around the tripod while still banking off the toilet-bowl side. 

(You may notice in the stream's final whimpers that yes, the left-most tripod leg did suffer some collateral damage (yum) haha.)

Third, finally, is it "appropriate" to publish a video of me urinating? (I felt vaguely uncomfortable glimpsing my exposed thigh (sidenote: I don't fully de-robe every time I urinate haha; I was about to take a shower (as you will see in Pt. II of the Mind-Morsel Bathroom Series . . . )).) 

I ran through a quick checklist. Genitalia? Implicit, but invisible (haha "genital innuendo", weird). Excretion? Everyone does it, and, like most human bodily functions, it's quite miraculous. Urine? At least it's more "tasteful" than feces (haha yum). And "Message"? Deeper appreciation for simple things . . .

So clearly it all checks out. Makes me wonder about taboos, though . . . 

• • •

This scene thoroughly amused me. It's like the camera-tripod-being is trying to figure out how to piss. Or, the camera is contemplating suicide. 

(The humour was probably just a defense mechanism against the terrible fear that the camera's suicidal ambitions would come to fruition (which would have been fiscally disastrous).)

• • •

Epilogue

Apparently the Coriolis Effect actually has negligible impact on the direction of toilet-bowl vortices, relative to other, local, bowl-specific factors.

I suppose "nothing is real", then. 

3/17/15